If I had my way, "America Idol" would trim back to three judges next season, possibly Randy Jackson, Bret Michaels and Shania Twain.

Maybe I should have realized that magazine covers aren't always truthful. In his autobiography, David Brown admitted writing the cover blurbs for Cosmopolitan (which his wife, Helen Gurley Brown, edited) without bothering to read the stories.

Still, I fell for it again. There was TV Guide, with a cover photo of Simon Cowell and the giant yellow headline: "Why I'm Leaving Idol."

"American Idol" starts its eighth season tonight. What can we look forward to?

Well, a guy named Michael Gurr has a voice that's closer to "Grr." Lea Marie Golde looks so good in her pink shirt and pink cowboy hat that we really wish she could sing. Elijah Scarlett has a deep bass voice, but no idea what to do with it. Others are cruel to songs by Celine Dion and Carrie Underwood and Tears For Fears and more.