Maybe I should have realized that magazine covers aren't always truthful. In his autobiography, David Brown admitted writing the cover blurbs for Cosmopolitan (which his wife, Helen Gurley Brown, edited) without bothering to read the stories.
Still, I fell for it again. There was TV Guide, with a cover photo of Simon Cowell and the giant yellow headline: "Why I'm Leaving Idol."
That seemed like big news. I set aside all the important things I was doing -- or would have, if I still had important things to do -- and read the article. I soon found Cowell saying that he'll PROBABLY leave when his contract expires after NEXT season ends, in 2010. Those are two big differences.
Once you get past that, there are points in the interview where he is right and where he's wrong. He's:
-- Right about the strong possibility of a finale with Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert.
-- Wrong in picking Gokey as the 55/45 likely winner. Cowell has misunderstood Lambert in the past, dismissing him as "theatrical" and "self-indulgent." In truth, Lambert brings fresh, original interpretations. His "Ring of Fire" was brilliantly linked to the actual lyrics; as always, it was sung superbly.
-- Right in saying Allison Iraheta is limited because she shows no personality behind that blazing talent. In a way, it's the sort of pageant-syndrome that hit Diana DeGarmo. Iraheta has been singing since she was 3; she's had little time to develop her own personality.
-- Wrong in giving Kris Allen the same description. Sure, he's a fairly quiet Southern kid with an attractive wife and a pleasant life. Still, there are hints of extra layers there; don't be surprised if he nudges past Gokey for the runner-up spot.
-- Right in saying Lambert will be a big-seller, Gokey probably won't. Danny Gokey is this year's Taylor Hicks, which is a good thing; Lambert is this year's Daughtry-plus, which is a great thing.
-- Wrong in his friendly criticism of Paula Abdul -- "I don't understand half of what she's talking about." It made perfect sense, for instance, when she discussed Kris Allen's song choice as "shopping in the ladies' department." That's a metaphor or a simile, the things British people are supposed to understand. If I remember my English lit class correctly, they invented them.
-- Right in saying one problem is that Abdul and DioGuardi have been too wordy. They have; Cowell and Randy Jackson have said more in less time.
-- Wrong in giving guarded approval to DioGuardi. In truth, she's been a disappointment, never disagreeing with Jackson and rarely diverting from a limited view of what might work on a pop record. "Idol" deeply needs Jackson and Cowell, with their ability to be direct and (often) correct. That's why I panicked when I saw the yellow letters saying "Why I'm Leaving Idol." Fortunately, it was just yellow journalism.