Somebody please get a message to Crystal Bowersox, before it's too late: Until now, you've been right every week. But you were dead wrong when you defended a mild-bland song by saying, "Not every song has to be big."
That's true in a 12-song CD. It's true in a one-hour concert. But it's wrong when "American Idol" singers only get one shot a week, then can be voted off.
Last week, Casey James sang the mild-bland "Don't Stop." Simon Cowell called it "lazy"; viewers put him second-to-last.
This week, Crystal sang the mild-bland "No One Needs to Know." Simon called it "lame"; in a week when almost everyone else went big, she'll be lucky to finish second-to-last. Here are a few of my comments on this Shania Twain week; please add yours:
1) After a so-so start, Lee DeWyze wrapped up "Still the One" strongly.
2) Michael Lynche has now done soft ballads for three straight weeks. He's done each one -- including tonight's "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing" -- well. Still, the biggest voice in "Idol" history has kind of been in neutral.
3) There's no neutral for Siobhan Magnus. She took a bouncy, chirpy song ("Any Man of Mine") and added her primal scream. Simon wants her to skip that; fortunately, she doesn't. In a one-song-and-out competition, you havbe to go big every week.
4) Casey went from "Don't Stop" to just "Don't" and improved immensely. See what a difference one word can make.
5) Casey, incidentally, explained that he chose this one because "it's a singing song." To which we say, "DUH." People (especially Crystal) should remember that: Every week needs to show off the singer.
6) Aaron Kelly has always known that. He's best when sticking to a straight-ahead, passionate ballad. This week, with "You Got a Way," he nailed it.
7) I do kind of wish Aaron hadn't said he was singing that to his mom. It's nice for someone to be fond of a parent, but that veers way to close to Oedipus and/or Mackenzie Phillips.
8) Before her song, Crystal said my favorite comment. This was a message to her boyfriend, she said, implying that the guy should propose soon. "He'll man up, one of these days." Let's hope so, especially if he's the father of her baby.
9) After the song, however, she said my least-favorite thing: "I had a real good time tonight." That's what people say just before they're voted out.
10) Will she be gone Wednesday? I'll guess that it's close: Crystal is second from the bottom, with Casey voted out. I could be wrong, however. A great talent could be ousted by going small.
11) That's on a night stuffed with guest stars. This has been country week -- even though "Idol" tried to avoid the word "country" -- with country guess. Lady Antebellum will be there, plus Rascal Flatts and Sons of Sylvia (which was terrific when winning the "Great American Band" competition as the Clark Brothers) and Shakira.
12) Shakira? On country week? Well, Colombia is a country, I guess. And it's in the South, making Nashville folks feel like Northerners. And if country people have believed in anything over the years, it's big hair; that makes Shakira at least an honorary member.