TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “The Middle”
and “Modern Family,” 8:30 and 9 p.m., ABC.
Even as reruns, these comedies make
great summer fun. Tonight, each has an exceptional episode.
On “Middle,” Frankie obsesses on
the royal wedding, Sue becomes a school news reporter and Mike has
the audacity to deprive his workers of free pretzels. There's a funny
(and oddly touching) finish.
“Modern Life” has one of its
funniest scenes, when the kids surprise their parents with an
anniversary breakfast in bed. It's a bigger surprise, because the
parents are celebrating intimately.
TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “Rescue Me”
season-opener, 10 p.m., FX.
For six seasons, “Rescue Me” has
been one of TV's most varied shows. Focusing on firemen in the
aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, it spirals into alcoholism, divorce,
death and despair; written by comedy people Denis Leary and Peter
Tolan, it's also sneaky funny.
As the season begins, Tommy (Leary) is
surrounded by two brilliant actresses. He's back with his wife
(Andrea Roth), but helping his ex-lover (Callie Thorne) – whose
husband (Tommy's cousin) died on 9/11 and son was brain-damaged in a
fire. Tommy's daughter, struggling with alcoholism, works at a bar.
Tonight's hour starts slowly and somberly, then ends sensationally.
TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Who the
(Bleep) Did I Marry?” season-opener and “I Married a Mobster”
debut, 10 and 10:30 p.m., Investigation Discovery.
Tammi McCreary and Cheryl Caruso seemed
to marry interesting guys – a doctor, warm and fragile; a
businessman, so forceful that he threw away her engagement ring on
their first date.
Then both learned who these guys really
are. Mixing first-person accounts and re-enactments, these stories
have a tacky feel … yet remain thoroughly involving.
Other choices include:
– “So You Think You Can Dance,”
8-10 p.m., Fox. Last week, another gifted hip-hopper (Chris Koehl)
was ousted, along with contemporary dancer Ashley Rich. Now the final
– “America's Got Talent,” 9 p.m.,
NBC. On Tuesday, a dozen acts performed and viewers voted. Now – in
the first results show – eight are ousted and four move on.
– “BMW: A Driving Obsession,” 9
p.m., CNBC. After barely surviving the years after World War II, BMW
built its image carefully. It lets some buyers spend a day at the
Munich factory; its Rolls Royce brand has 13 shades of black. This
hour includes a few gripes – a Consumer Reports chief finds BMW's
reliability spotty and the radio way too hard to operate – and much
– “Damages,” 10 p.m., DirecTV.
Remember when there was nothing new on TV in the summer? Now, oddly,
two of TV's smarted dramas (“Rescue Me” and “Damages”) open
their seasons simultaneously. “Damages” has its hero-villain
lawyer (Glenn Close) tackle a complex case each season. This one
centers on John Goodman as a military contractor.
– “Dance Moms,” 10 p.m.,
Lifetime. The moms are bizarre – one spends $16,000 a year on
dance, another says “pink is a way of life” – and the teacher
is immensely unlikable. Most viewers will find it grating and
disturbing; it follows “Roseanne's Nuts” (9 and 9:30), with
Roseanne Barr in Hawaii.
– “One Man Army,” 10 p.m.,
Discovery. Think of this as war games for individuals. Four tough
guys race, shoot and improvise; there is, at least, lots of action.