Mike Hughes on TV

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “The Middle," 8 p.m., ABC

For its first new episode in a month,
this show has three hilarious stories.

At home, the parents battle an
insurance company. That brings a grand Frankie meltdown.

At school, Brick has a life coach –
wonderfully played by Dave Foley of The Kids in the Hall – with no
life skills. And Axl is forced to do a project with his sister,
creating the ultimate mismatch.

TONIGHT'S ODDITY: “Stars in Danger:
The High Dive,” 8-10 p.m., Fox.

A week before “American Idol” takes
the time slot, Fox borrows a German idea: Have some stars – well,
semi-stars – take lessons and try the high dive.

You'll see actors (Antonio Sabato Jr.,
Alexandra Paul, David Chokachi) and athletes (Bethany Hamilton, who
returned to surfing after a shark took her arm, and Terrell Owens).
You'll see a dancer (Twitch), a reality star (JWoww) and people who
cross categories. Kim and Kyle Richard are sisters who were child
stars and now are in “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

TONGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: People's Choice
Awards, 9-11 p.m., CBS.

Here's the annual blend of genuine
talent and meaningless awards.

The talent? Kaley Cuoco (“Big Bang
Theory”) hosts; there's music by Alicia Keys, Jason Aldean and
Christina Aguilera – who wins a special “people's voice” award.

The awards? They include categories for
“favorite fan following” – Twihards, Gleeks, KatyCats and such
– in movies, TV and music. There's reality judge; Britney Spears is
nominated, Simon Cowell isn't. Among 11 nominees for “favorite new
drama,” four have been canceled for low ratings.

Other choices include:

– “The Pirates: Band of Misfits”
(2012), 7:20-9 p.m., Starz. American cartoons can be a tad frantic;
for counterpoint, there's the quietly clever British work of Peter
Lord (“Wallace & Gromit,” “Chicken Run”). Hugh Grant
voices a captain desperate to win Pirate of the Year. We soon meet
Charles Darwin, Queen Victoria, The Surprisingly Curvaceous Pirate
and The Pirate Who Likes Sunsets and Kittens.

– “Nature,” 8 p.m., PBS. Cuba's
stagnant economy has brought one plus – an unspoiled wilderness.
This rerun – the 2010 season-opener – catches some of the
island's natural beauty.

– “The Neighbors,” 8:30, ABC.
These neighbors (aliens from another planet) are trying to help Marty
and Debbie with school projects. They're helpful with PTA politics,
not so good with soccer.

– “Modern Family,” 9 p.m., ABC.
Jay plans a New Year's Eve in Palm Springs for the grown-ups. Things
go terribly wrong … until he meets actor Billy Dee Williams.

– “Law & Order: Special Victims
Unit,” 9 p.m., NBC. Two ambitious prosecutors (Jane Kaczmarek and
Raul Esparza) have different suspects for the same murder. The trials
are held simultaneously.

– “Chicago Fire,” 10 p.m,, NBC.
Severide finally admits to the injury that damages his work.

– “Nashville,” 10 p.m., ABC.
Neither singer is happy about it, but now Rayna and Juliette are set
to start their tour together. Then Juliette surprises everyone by
eloping with Sean.

– “Top Chef,” 10 p.m., Bravo.
Contestants must come up with new restaurant concepts.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Justified" season-opener, 10 p.m., FX.

A couple of gun-wielding teens just
want to do a home burglary, simple and uncomplicated.

Alas, the home (Raylan's father's) has
a bag that everyone seems to want. And the car they steal (Raylan's)
has a felon in the trunk. And then things get worse.

Yes, this requires great coincidence.
Still, it's so well-done – with great characters an clever dialog –
that all is forgiven. At terrific show is back.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “American
Experience,” 9 p.m., PBS (check local listings).

They came from different worlds:
Angelina Grimke's dad was a rich slaveholder; Harriet Beecher's was
an earnest clergyman. William Garrison was a newspaper man; Frederick
Douglass was a slave.

Then changes began. Grimke moved North,
Douglass fought a brutal foreman, Garrison created an anti-slavery
newspaper and faced mob attacks. All became part of the abolition
movement. This well-made hour – starting a three-week series –
views the early days of a crucial change in America.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “The Joe Schmo
Show” debut, 10 p.m., Spike.

Back in 2003-4, there were two quick
editions of this sly prank: A guy thought he was on a reality show;
he didn't know that the other contestants were actors, getting
increasingly outrageous.

Some of those actors (Kristen Wiig,
David Hornsby) would go on to fame; the show would be set aside. Now
it's finally back, this time sprinkling in two familiar faces.

One is a foolish gamble: A “contestant”
is played by Michael Weaver, who starred in 23 episodes of “Notes
From the Underbelly.” He's almost recognized the first day.

The other idea works well: Lorenzo
Lamas plays himself – or a wonderfully exaggerated version of
himself. The result is fun, a clever satire of a genre that demands
to be mocked.

Other choices include:

– “NCIS,” 8 p.m.. CBS. In the
midst of a murder probe, Ziva has a new worry: Her dad (Michael
Nouri), the head of Mossad, has just reached town for mysterious
reasons.

– “Modern Family,” 8 p.m., ABC.
The show returns to new episodes Wednesday, but first it reruns a
dandy episode: When Haley is arrested for underage drinking, the
entire family gets involved.

– Movies, 8 p.m., cable. A great
night is led by two best-picture Oscar nominees – “Jerry Maguire”
(1996) on AMC and the delightful “Little Miss Sunshine”(2006) on
IFC. Others range from two animated films – “The Lion King”
(1994) on Disney and “Puss in Boots” (2011) on HBO – to Martin
Scorsese's intense “Shutter Island” (2009) on Syfy.

– “The Middle,” 8:31 p.m., ABC.
This reruns the return of Brooke Shields as Rita, the trashy neighbor
who towers over Frankie. Also, Brick is shocked by Axl's
birds-and-the-bees lecture.

– “Go On,” 9 p.m., NBC. Bob
Costas arrives to offer Ryan (Matthew Perry) a spot on a TV show.

– “NCIS: Los Angele,” 9 p.m.,
CBS. Nate Getz, the team psychologist, is back. Meanwhile, the team
probes the circumstances of a Marine's last battle.

– “Private Practice,” 10 p.m.,
ABC. Two weeks before the series finale, we catch Amelia (Caterina
Scorsone) in transition. Sober for more than a year, she's trying to
avoid relationships.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: Football, 8:30 p.m.
ET, ESPN, with pre-game at 8.

After lots of bowl-game names we didn't
know, played by teams we'd soon forget, this is the big one.

The nation's two top-ranked teams
collide in Miami. Undefeated Notre Dame faces Alabama, 12-1.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “The Bachelor”
debut, 8-10 p.m., ABC.

Sean Lowe is described by one woman as
“the perfect beach-blonde hottie.” This is verified early, by
four bare-chested views. But we also see him as a God-loving Texan
from a warm family.

And the 25 women seeking his love? One,
a fan of “Fifty Shades of Gray,” presents him with bondage
ribbon; he seem forlorn.

One woman screams with delight when she
hears the bachelor is Lowe, who finished third in Emily Maynard's
“Bachelorette” season; another tells him she never saw the show.
One plants a bright red kiss on his cheek, another promptly wipes it
off. It's a promising start.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Bunheads”
return, 9 p.m., ABC Family.

The first season brought a neat mix of
comedy and drama. Michelle ditched her sagging dance career to marry
a guy who promptly died. She found herself in a small town, with his
mom's dance studio.

That crumbled when she accidentally
maced the dancers during the “The Nutcracker.” Now she's an
assistant for an awful magician; the girls are floundering and the
dance studio is closed. “Bunheads” has a stupid title and smart
scripts, from the producer-writer of “Gilmore Girls.”

Other choices include:

– “Switched at Birth”
season-opener,11 a.m. to 9 p.m., ABC Family. First are the final nine
episodes of this above-average show about two teens (one deaf) who
were switched at birth. That peaks in the 7 p.m. episode with a
startling court decision. The new episode, at 8, find both girls in
trouble.

– “The Biggest Loser,” 8-10 p.m.,
NBC. After the Sunday debut, the show takes its regular spot.

– “How I Met Your Mother,” 8
p.m., CBS. In a rerun, Kevin (Kal Penn) realizes people may be too
involved with each other: Theu intercede, when Ted dares to date
someone he hasn't researched.

– 2 Broke Girls, 8:30 and 9 p.m.,
CBS. The first rerun has Max and Caroline disagreeing on how to use a
new credit card; the second has Caroline being humiliated at a
great-looking guy's candy store.

– “Mob Doctor,” 9 p.m., Fox.
After being banished to Saturdays, this show returns to Mondays for
its final episode. Squeezed by two Mob chiefs, Dr. Grace Devlin takes
a desperate step.

– “Deception” debut, 10 p.m.,
NBC. An heiress' death is considered an overdose, but police have
doubts. Now a former family friend (Meagan Good) wedges back into the
home to find secrets. It's a well-made show, but requires viewers to
stick around as it slowly unwinds.

– “True Crime with Aphrodite Jones”
season-opener, 10 p.m., Investigation Discovery. Moving to the
prosperous Orange County, a young beauty advertised for a rich man.
She found one, who was killed three years later; Jones, a true-crime
writer, digs through a fascinating tale.

– “The Staircase,” 10 p.m.,
Sundance. In 2001, novelist Michael Peterson said he'd found his
wife's body at the base of the staircase. Jean-Xavier de Lestrade
filmed preparations, the trial and the jury. The result became an
eight-hour, Peabody-winning documentary. A cable movie followed; now
de Lestrade has two more hours, showing new evidence and a retrial.
All 10 hours air as a weeky series.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Downton Abbey”
season-opener, 9-11 p.m., PBS.

Last season ended with Mary set to
marry Matthew, the heir to her family's estate. All was settled.

Except for the constant flux of new
questions and controversies. Will Lady Sybil arrive with her husband,
an Irish militant and ex-chauffeur? Will Lady Edith marry the
much-older neighbor? Has Robert blown the family fortune? And what
about Bates, in prison on a shaky murder conviction?

The plot is rushed and flawed, but the
elegant writing and acting make this eminently entertaining. It's at
its best when two dowagers (Maggie Smith and a visiting American,
Shirley MacLaine) collide.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: Football, 1
p.m., CBS, and 4:30 p.m., Fox.

This year has brought a rarity –
three top rookie quarterbacks in one season. Now you can catch all
three in one play-off afternoon.

At 1 p.m. on CBS, Andrew Luck and
Indianapolis visit Baltimore. At 4:30 p.m. on Fox, Russell Wilson and
Seattle visit Robert Griffin III and Washington.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “The Biggest
Loser” opener, 9-11 p.m., NBC.

After two years away from the show,
Jillian Michaels is back and seething. She soon has contestants
vomiting, collapsing and possibly quitting.

Fortunately, she and the others are
much gentler on three teens –ages 16, 13 and 13. Those immensely
likable kids are an auxiliary part of this edition, putting some
focus on childhood obesity.

There are some other worthy moments
here – plus, as usual, many loudly repetitious ones

Other choices include:

– “Emeril's Florida,” 10:30 a.m.
ET, Cooking Channel. Emeril Lagasse opens his new series in Orlando.
He visits a spot called “The Ravenous Pig” and surprises the
staff at Emeril's Orlando.

– “District 9” (2009), 7 and 9:30
p.m., BBC America. Here are two chances to see this film about aliens
from outer-space, confined to a ghetto. It drew praise, plus Oscar
nominations for best picture and for its script, editing and special
effects.

– “Once Upon a Time,” 7 and 8
p.m., ABC. First is a rerun, with Emma and Mary Margaret scrambling
for the magic compass, atop a beanstalk ruled by a giant (Jorge
Garcia). Then a new episode finds Emma doubting a murder charge
against her nemesis, Regina.

--”The Simpsons,” 8 p.m., Fox.
Homer joins a survivalist group that has set up camp outside
Springfield, waiting for the end of the world.

– “Revenge,” 9 p.m., ABC. After a
month-long break, this show is back with a new episode. Emily is
focusing on her next villain to ruin; Victoria, however, has a scheme
that includes Emily.

– “The Good Wife,” 9 p.m., CBS.
Will has a case that could bring millions to the financially troubled
firm. He also has a problem: Louis Canning (Michael J. Fox) is on the
other side.

– “The Mentalist,” 10 p.m., CBS.
The team probes a murder at an upscale rehab center.

– “666 Park Avenue,” 10:01 p.m.,
ABC. With only four episodes left, producers say they're setting up a
big finish. Tonight, Jane finds her dark dreams merging with reality;
she studies the building's history.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Saturday Night
Live,” 11:29 p.m. (or later, with football overrun), NBC.

After all those years seeming
overworked, underappreciated and weary, Louis C.K. is suddenly a big
deal. Last year he received seven Emmy nominations – winning two,
for writing his cable series and his stand-up special – and the
Television Critics Association's award for individual comedy.

Then he wrapped things up on Nov. 5
with one of the best “SNL” episodes in years; it reruns tonight.
C.K. hosts and has a brilliant Lincoln-in-a-bar sketch; Fun is the
music guest.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: Football, 4:30
and 8 p.m. ET, NBC.

The bowl barrage steps aside for two
days while the pros take over, with playoff double-headers.

Each game has a division leader hosting
a wild-card team. Today, it's Cincinnati (10-6) at Houston (12-4).
Then Minnesota (10-6) visits an oft-frozen Green Bay (11-5).

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Once Upon a
Time,” 8-11 p.m., ABC.

This terrific show reruns three key
episodes. There's another at 7 p.m. Sunday; then new ones resume.

Tonight starts with the season-opener:
As Regina's spell wears off, people in Storybrooke realize they're
from fairytale land – and they can't get back there. Mr. Gold
introduces dangerous magic to our world.

In the second episode, Gold has two
worlds of trouble. In one, Belle may leave him; in fairytale land
(where he's Rumplestiltskin), his wife may be kidnapped. And in the
third, Emma has a risky mission – steal a magic compass atop the
beanstalk of a stern giant, played by Jorge Garcia of “Lost.”

Other choices include:

– More football, 1 p.m.ET, ESPN. The
BBVA Compass Bowl, in Birmingham, Ala., has two 6-6 teams, Pittsburgh
and Mississippi. It may have trouble drawing fans who aren't sure
what a BBVA Compass is.

– “The Mentalist, 8 p.m., CBS. In a
rerun, an anti-cult activist has been killed. Patrick Jane turns to a
cult leader (Malcolm McDowell) he confronted in the past.

– Movies, 8 p.m., cable. “Bolt”
(2008, Disney) is an animated delight, as a dog who played a TV hero
flees into the real world, thinking he really is heroic. And if you
prefer movies for grownups? “The Notebook” (2004, ABC Family) is
warm and moving. “Signs” (2002, AMC) has M. Night Shyamalan at
his quirkiest; it's a crop-circle tale with strong moments and a weak
finish.

– “Mob Doctor,” 9 p.m., Fox. Dr.
Grace Devlin finds herself in the precarious situation of secretly
taking care of a mobster's girlfriend who has a secret.

– :Bridesmaids” (2011), 9:30 p.m.,
HBO. Kristen Wiig alternates between moments that are funny and ones
that are simply overwrought … which is what she used to do in
“Saturday Night Live.”

– “Leader of the Pack” debut, 10
p.m., Nat Geo Wild. Cesar Millan's amiable approach – helping
people and their dogs – apparently wasn't enough for our new world.
In this series, he soothes one dog, then tests three families … one
of which gets the dog. Millan seems uncomfortable as a reality-show
host, more comfortable being pulled by the dog for high-octane
skateblading.

– Wedding Band, 10 p.m., TBS. This
isn't the way to stir up business: After being hired to play at a
divorce party, the guys in the band are trying to get the couple back
together.