Mike Hughes on TV

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Saturday Night
Live,” 10 and 11:29 p.m., NBC.

First is a rerun of last week's
episode, one of the year's best. There are great moments from host
Melissa McCarthy – as an abusive basketball coach and as herself,
wobbling in heels – and from Bobby Moynihan. He starts the show as
a rambling King Jong-un, then returns as Drunk Uncle, this time with
Peter Dinklage (“Game of Thrones”) as his rambling pal Peter
Drunklage. Phoenix is the music guest.

Then a new episode has Vince Vaughn
hostig,with music by Miguel.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “Orphan
Black,” 9 p.m., BBC America.

In the first two weeks, young drifter
Sarah has kept coming across people who look just like her. Two are
dead, one is an angry suburban mom, another is a brainy grad student.

Sarah buried one lookalike and has been
impersonating the other (Beth, a cop). She grabbed $75,000 from
Beth's safe-deposit box, but her police partner temporarily has the
money.

Another great episode starts to give us
some answers, while adding to the splendid work of Canadian actress
Tatiana Maslany – tonight pretending to be someone pretending
(clumsily) to be a cop.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Louis C.K.:
Oh My God,” 10 p.m.,HBO.

Last season, Louis C.K. dominated the
Emmys, with two writing wins(for his series and his stand-up special)
and five more nominations. He's skipping the series this year, but
here's a great stand-up hour.

He wonders about sharks (do they know
their fins are showing?) and women. And in a big finish, he
acknowledges the incorrect things the bad part of his mind is saying.

Even slavery, he says, gave us the
pyramids and more. Now Third-Worlders are virtual slaves at
electronics factories, “just so you can make a mean comment on
YouTube while you're (on the toilet).”

Other choices include:

– “Bet on Your Baby” debut, 8 and
9 p.m., ABC. The newest – and, maybe, strangest – reality show
takes tykes (ages 2 to 3-and-a-half) to the “babydome” with one
parent, while the other bets on the result. Which toy will he choose?
Can he repeat an obstacle course? Can he name seven grocery items?

– “Smash,”8 p.m., NBC. This
sometimes-wonderful show drew dreadfully bad ratings last week, when
it moved to Saturday. Now NBC is nudging it one hour earlier
(followed by reruns of “Voice” audition). “Bombshell” is
almost ready for its Broadway opening, but there's an onstage
accident.

– “NCIS,” 8 p.m., CBS. In this
rerun, Ziva's dad insists he's just in town to have Shabbat dinner
with her. She's skeptical that the head of Mossad would do anything
casual.

– “Doors Open,” 8 p.m., Ovation.
Here's an amiable little gem, the story of mismatched guys who feel
so cheated that they'll try a daring art theft. Stephen Fry – Hugh
Laurie's comedy partner in their early years – produced it though
his company and co-stars. The result is light, slight and
entertaiing.

– “Joan and Melissa”
season-finale, 9 p.m., WE. Joan Rivers' staff-appreciation party –
aboard a yacht, no less – has problems. Also, Melissa's boyfriend
is visiting … just as she fears she may be pregnant.

– “Body of Proof,” 10 p.m., ABC.
In the rerun of a fairly good episode, Henry Ian Cusick (“Lost”)
plays a grief counselor. When he seems close to too many murders,
Megan becomes suspicious.

– “Life With LaToya,” 10:30 p.m.,
Oprah Winfrey Network. LaToya Jackson, 56, starts a reality show. We
soon learn she's “very grand” and “a germophone”. And she
made a childhold pact with her brother Michael and friend Kathy (now
Kathy Hilton) to each name a child Paris. The others did; she had to
settle for having Paris the dog.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Happy Endings,”
8 and 8:30 p.m., ABC.

This starts with a hilarious sight gag
– a pinata party gone bad – before getting to its plot: On
couples game night, the hyper-competitive Jane and Brad face Penny
and her fiancee, plus Max and a sort of random stalker. There are big
laughs, followed by a key plot change.

The second episode has Penny's reaction
as she creates the theater event, “Black Plague: A Love Story.”
That's moderately funny – but the final scenes are hilarious …
which is how this hour starts.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “Live From
Lincoln Center” and “Michael Feinstein's American Songbook,” 9
and 10 p.m., PBS (check local listings).

First, Josh Groban has an intimate
concert, mixing his older songs with ones from the current “All
That Echoes” – his third album to reach No. 1 on the Billboard
chart and seventh in the top 10.

Then Feinstein visits radio, both new
(his own NPR show) and old. With old film footage, he avoids our
expectations. It's Martha Raye as a gifted jazz singer, not a
comedian. And Cole Porter's “Don't Fence Me In” sung by Bing
Crosby, not Roy Rogers. And Rose Marie, long before “The Dick Van
Dyke Show,” as a 4-year-old radio superstar; she reminisces about
that, 85 years later,

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Spartacus”
finale, “Da Vinci's Demons” debut, 9 and 10 p.m., Starz.

One series concludes and another
starts, each with an epic, international story. Each is beautifully
crafted and richly overstated; then come the differences.

“Spartacus” is tied to the
real-life limits of its character and his slave rebellion. It manages
to be honest about that, while offering smidgens of hope.

Leonard da Vinci, by comparison, brings
few limits. “Demons” takes legends about him as an inventor,
dreamer, swordsman and lover, then expands them to the max. It
surrounds him with nasty schemers, gorgeous settings and beautiful
women. Except for some excess brutality, this is a strong start.

Other choices include:

– “Kitchen Nightmares,” 8-10
p.m., Fox. Gordon Ramsay needs two hours to straighten things out. At
Boston's La Galleria 33, he feels, the recipes are tasteless and the
two sisters who run it have a hostile attitude toward their workers
and their customers.

– “Fashion Star,” 8 p.m., NBC.
This time, the store people aren't just sitting on a panel making
bids; they have one-on-one consultations with the designers.

– Movies, 8 p.m., cable. Disney
reruns “Toy Story” (1995), an animated gem. Hallmark has “Hachi:
A Dog's Tale” (2008), a Japanese film about a man and his dog;
Lasse Hallstrom (who has two Oscar nominations as director), showed
his usual subtle skill. Based on a true story, this is quietly
moving.

– “Grimm,” 9 p.m., NBC. Jaime Ray
Newman – now a “Red Widow” co-star – has her third guest shot
as Angelina. This time, she has bad news for Monroe, who then needs
Hank's protection.

– “Vegas,” 9 p.m., CBS. Last
week, Yvonne landed a music audition and the sheriff's son lost his
brief-but-hot romance with a starlet. Tonight, those two arrive in
Los Angeles.

– “Blood Brothers,” 10 p.m., CBS.
It's a husband-vs.-wife conflict: Danny (Donnie Wahlberg) wants to
interview a key witness who's hospitalized; Linda won't let him until
after surgery.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Go On” season
finale, 9:31 p.m.

After months of Tuesday anonymity,
Matthew Perry's show ends its season on a Thursday – the night when
his “Friends” ruled the world. Fortunately, this is a worthy
episode, with humor and emotion.

One story – therapy-group members
concoct a fake problem for their leader to solve – is pretty good;
the other (Perry's character can't decide his late wife's final
resting place) is terrific. It has a few warm moments, along with two
hilarious scenes involving ashes.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “Archer”
season finale, 10 p.m., FX.

This animated show's new crisis began
last week, aboard the marine-research submarine bankrolled by
Cheryl's brother. Now the captain (Jon Hamm) prepares to fire
missiles at the Eastern seaboard.

As questions swirl – such as why a
research sub has missiles – Archer tries a plan, Lana keeps a
secret and his mom grumbles about the lack of alcohol. The result is
big, broad and funny.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Glee,” 9
p.m., Fox.

Here is a whiplash shift. “Glee”
flows with silliness – a love song to a cat … a comet scare … a
huge over-reaction to a false Internet identity. Then things change
suddenly and starkly.

The first part is fairly lame, the
second is involving … and the third (explaining it all) is both. It
strains credibility, but stir emotions as earnest people follow their
views of right and wrong.

Other choices include:

– “American Idol,” 8-9 p.m., Fox.
This show's distant past and recent past combine. Performing will be
its first champion (Kelly Clarkson) and its 10^th one
(Scotty McCreery). Then one of the final six people will be ousted …
unless the judges use the “save,” on the final week that it's
available.

– “The Big Bang Theory,” 8 p.m.,
CBS. In a clever rerun, two guys are out of their element –
Wolowitz is fishing with his father-in-law (Casey Sander), Sheldon is
nursing a sick Amy.

– “Two and a Half Men,” 8:31
p.m., CBS. This rerun has Walden dating Rose, just as Charlie did.

– “Grey's Anatomy,” 9 p.m., ABC.
In a rerun, the new administration continues to create chaos. Several
doctors juggle difficult transplants; one considers leaving the
hospital.

– “Farm Kings” season-opener, 9
p.m., GAC (Great American Country). This reality show focuses on the
nine King brothers and their sister, all telegenic and likable. Joe
ponders adding cows and pigs to the farm, Dan interns with a new-age
farmer … and the guys are available as dates in a charity auction.

– “Men at Work,” 10 p.m., TBS.
This fairly funny episode is sparked by guest Seth Green (as an angry
homeless guy) and series regular James Lesure (transforming his image
via glasses and clipboard).

– “Hannibal,” 10:01 p.m., NBC.
This second episode, like the first, has rich visuals and
psychological depth. It adds a key regular, a crime blogger (Lara
Jean Chorostecki) who is bright and unprincipled.

– “Elementary,” 10:01 p.m., CBS.
In a fairly good rerun, a deadly office explosion leaves a timeline
problem: The bomb was planted years ago, when different people were
in the office.

(Re-sending the TV column for
Wednesday, April 10, catching a few typos)

By MIKE HUGHES

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Modern Family,”
9 p.m., ABC.

There are some big laughs tonight, on
two fronts.

One has Manny's dad (Benjamin Bratt)
return, this time bringing his new girlfriend (Paget Brewster).
Gloria – expecting a waitress or receptionist – is in for a
surprise.

The other sees Claire and Cam finish
buying and remodeling a house. Now Phil tries to sell it; as things
sputter, Mitchell struggles to suppress a major “I told you so.”

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “American
Idol,” 8-10 p.m., Fox

The all-female (almost) season heats
up. There will be two solos – including a “song I wish I had
written” – from each contestant.

There are six left – five women and
Lazaro Arbos. Viewers have ousted a guy every week and could do it
again, considering the explosive female talent.

Then again, judges might use their lone
“save” to spare someone. This is the longest any panel has lasted
without using the save; it's also the final week that it can be used.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Nova,” 9
p..m., PBS (check local listings).

As Richard Smith tells it, his
Australian homeland is the perfect laboratory for natural history.

Some people consider it our oldest
continent. It certainly seems to have the oldest specimens –
crystals considered 4.5 billion years old, fossils traced to 3.5
billion, animal fossils at 500 million and more.

Smith, a marine biologist, leads this
four-week tour of Australia's natural history. This first part –
encompassing the first four billion years or so – slips snippets of
information into dazzling visuals.

Other choices include:

– “Survivor,” 8 p.m., CBS. Last
week, the tribes merged and one of the “favorites” (Corinne
Kaplan) was ousted. That leaves seven favorites, four “fans” and
more commotion.

– “The Middle,” 8 p.m., ABC.
Frankie seeks her first dental-assistant job, with Jack McBrayer (“30
Rock”) as a potential boss. Also, her husband reluctantly has a
Prairie Scouts camping trip with Brick.

– “Doctor Who”and “Spies of
Warsaw,” 8 p.m. and 9-11 p.m., BBC America. First we see David
Tennant as the zestful Doctor, leaping across time and space; in this
rerun from 2009, a creature is in the waters of Mars. Then a miscast
Tennant is a spy and action hero. In the second half of a so-so
mini-series, he tries to rescue Anna (Janet Montgomery) and a crucial
cargo.

– “Suburgatory,” 8:30 p.m., ABC.
A week before the season-finale, George delivers the world's
least-romantic proposal for cohabitation: “Let's hook up and stick
it to our cable-provider.” That leads to painful decisions about
what to dump … and to a hurried sale by Sheila, who's new in real
estate.

– “How to Live With Your Parents
(For the Rest of Your Life),” 9:31 p.m., ABC. After last week's
lively start, the show settles in. Polly (Sarah Chalke) is injured,
leaving her mom and step-dad in charge of her daughter. On the plus
side, they urge her ex-husband to give her some space.

– “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation,”
10 p.m.,CBS. A 6-year-old was the only witness to a triple murder.
Now D.B. Russell (Ted Danson) tries to break through to the kid.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE: “Cougar Town”
season-finale, 10 and 10:30 p.m., TBS.

Two key stories sprawl across both
episodes.

One is what viewers had hoped for –
romance between Laurie (who's been around) and Travis (who's sort of
loved her since he was a kid). They have their first date and plan
their first kiss.

In the other, Jules' dad (Ken Jenkins
of “Scrubs”) has a health crisis. Now the gang is determined to
take him to Hollywood and help him meet former movie star Tippi
Hedren.

TONIGHT'S MUST-SEE II: “American
Masters,” 8-9:30 p.m., PBS (check local listings).

Carol Burnett grew up at the edge of
the movie world, with little chance of reaching it. She ushered at a
theater, did shows at Hollywood High, watched her mother's
frustration.

Then an anonymous donor helped her move
to New York; fame followed. “The Carol Burnett Show” ran 11 years
(only four prime-time variety shows went longer), won 25 Emmys and
finished as high as 13^th in the annual Nielsen ratings.
This terrific rerun airs on the day her book comes out and 17 days
before her 80^th birthday. It's followed by a “Pioneers
of Television” half-hour on TV's funny women.

TONIGHT'S ALTERNATIVE: “Ready For
Love” debut, 9-11 p.m., NBC.

Imagine tripling “The Bachelor” and
adding more commotion. “Love” has studio-audience moments, a
matchmaker and more, to find someone for three guys who shouldn't
need the help.

Tim Lopez is a rocker, the guitarist
for Plain White T's. Ben Patton developed and sold his first
apartment complex at 24 and was an investment manager for the royal
family Dubai.

Ernesto Arguello, the son of Cuban and
Nicaraguan refugees, grew up in the Honduras and studied in Miami.
There he became a civil and architectural engineer whose charity
builds Third World homes.

Other choices include:

– “Home Alone” (1990) and “Home
Alone 2” (1992), 6:30 and 8:30 p.m., ABC Family. The original was
peppered with great sight gags. The sequel is fairly funny.

– “NCIS,” 8 p.m., CBS. A Navy
reservist finds her living room covered in blood and her husband
missing. Meanwhile, Tony worries that Ziva will seek personal
vengeance for her dad's death.

– Basketball, 8:30 p.m. ET, ESPN. Two
Big East teams – Connecticut and Louisville – collide for the
women's championship. Ironically, neither was the conference champ;
that was Notre Dame, which was upset Sunday by Connecticut; before
that, Louisville (seeded only 5^th in its region) upset
California.

– “Dancing With the Stars,” 9
p.m., ABC. Fresh from his performances Sunday at the Academy of
Country Music awards, Brad Paisley performs “Southern Comfort
Nights.” Brilynn Rakes, 17 – who has been legally blind since
birth – dances with Derek Hough. Also, Andrea Bocelli – blind
since he was 12 – sings a duet with Jennifer Lopez. Then, of
course, someone is sent home.

– “NCIS: Los Angeles,” 9:01 p.m.,
CBS. Cyanide has been found in a communal water jug. The next
question is whether this is the start of a mass plot

.– “Golden Boy,” 10:01 p.m., CBS.
With a promotion looming, Clark and Arroyo, race for a key arrest.

– “The Late Show,” 11:35 p.m.,
CBS. Lindsay Lohan guests, in what could be a ratings-grabber.