Love lasts forever … but how long, exactly?

“Happily ever after” is a fine notion — depending on how long “ever” is.
A five-decade romance can be pleasant; five centuries might be a bit much. That’s one of the ideas behind “Eternally Yours,” at 8:30 p.m. Thursdays on CBS, starting Oct. 8.
Charles and Liz (Ed Weeks and Allegra Edwards, shown here) married in the heat of passion. Now, 500 years later — did we mention that they’re vampires? — the passion has cooled. Life gets complicated for their adopted daughter and her new boyfriend.
The idea reflects two Joes (Joe Port and Joe Wiseman), who created the series. They’re not romantic and not, to our knowledge, vampires; still, Port said, it’s “very, very autobiographic, in a weird way.”
They were happy writing comedies together, he said. but they noticed quirks. Wiseman’s habit of loudly clearing his throat was wearing thin.
“We started thinking about people who are stuck together forever,” Port said.
They’d only been together 15 years, at that point, but it felt like forever. How would it feel after centuries?
So 12 years ago, they wrote a pilot film about a vampire couple … and got mixed reactions. At one network, an executive not only rejected it, but called it “bat-(poop) crazy.” CBS financed a pilot film, but didn’t go to series.
Then life changed, starting overseas. New Zealanders created “What We Do in the Shadows,” a comedy movie about vampires, and then adapted it for an FX network series. Englishmen had success with their “Ghosts” series.
That’s when CBS remembered the Joes and asked them to do an American version of “Ghosts.” That show has had five strong seasons and will return at mid-season (plus Halloween and Christmas specials); for now, however, “Eternally Yours” is borrowing its time slot.
And yes, that old issue is back: Liz (Allegra Edwards) used to be charmed by Charles (Ed Weeks) clearing his throat; now she finds it annoying.
As Weeks tells it: “I kept on getting the note, ‘Can you just be a bit more specific with the throat-clear?” I was never giving the authentic Wiseman throat-clear.”
The solution? He mimed it on-camera, while Wiseman stood just off-camera, making the real sound. “I have a very specific, niche voice-over career,” Wiseman joked.
Some of the vampire rules apply, but only when convenient. Vampires still can’t stand much sunshine, we’re told, but these folks are protected by a special sunscreen … and the fact that they live in cloudy Seattle.
Vampires can’t have biologic children (fortunately), but this couple has an adopted daughter whose new romance gets complicated.
And if a vampire marries a mortal? Well, one ages and the other doesn’t.
That’s why their household includes a hunky guy (Parker Young, 38) and a much-older wife (Rose Abdoo, 63). “It’s a dream come true,” Abdoo said.
And it’s a fresh take on marriage. “It’s a hilarious dynamic,” Young said. “I’m 100 years older than (her), and yet people confuse our age constantly.”
It also reflects well on human nature. As Helen Shen, who plays the daughter, put it: “There are a lot of differences on the surface, but what’s actually more beautiful is the choice to love despite those things.”