1) “Saturday Night Live,” 11:29 p.m., NBC. We don’t expect big laughs from Benedict Cumberbatch. But his second hosting turn (with Arcade Fire as music guest) begins with a brilliant sketch (shown here): The draft of the decision overturning Roe v. Wade cited 13th-century English law. Here, he’s in 1235, pushing a law against abortion, sort of like the one banning pointy shoes. Exceptions for incest or rape? No way, someone says; “those are the only kinds of sex we have.”
2) “Furious 7” (2015), 8-11 p.m., NBC. It’s a night of screeching tires for NBC. First is NASCAR (the Pennzoil 150 in Indianapolis), then comes this movie, a billion-dollar-plus hit. The former rogues have settled down … until a vengeful assassin (Jason Statham) arrives.
3) “Shark Week” finale, 8 and 9 p.m., Discovery. These are the last two new episodes, but don’t worry: Reruns continue all day … and until 4 p.m. Sunday. That includes some of this year’s key hours — Tracy Morgan at 4 p.m., “Impractical Jokers” at 5, Johnny Knoxville at 6 (also at 10 p.m. and 2 a.m.) and this year’s “Air Jaws” at 7. And the competing “Shark Fest” continues on National Geographic, jumping next week to Nat Geo Wild.
4) “Are You Afraid of the Dark?: Ghost Island” opener, 7-9 p.m., Nickelodeon. This used to be a popular series, plunging young actors into scary situations. It ran for seven years and 91 episodes, launching the careers of Elisha Cuthbert, JoAnna Garcia, Rachel Blanchard, Vanessa Lengries and more. Now it’s back as a mini-series. This one (continuing for two more Saturdays) has four teens at a resort, finding horror and a mystery.
5) “Flowers in the Attic: The Origin” conclusion, 8 p.m., Lifetime, rerunning at midnight and 2:04 a.m. It’s a long and gloomy ride – eight hours of TV time – to show how a bright and optimistic business woman was transformed into the menacing grandmother of “Attic” fame. You can catch up on the previous films at 2, 4 and 6 p.m., then brace for the finale.